Misconception and a lifelong lesson

And then I said goodbye. And it was over just like that. Now I’m not saying that it didn’t hurt, but I was over all the fighting and the not speaking and the despising every minute of every day spent with him. I did love him dearly, but it wasn’t working! It had taken me 6 months to get to that point, and I finally did.


That was the day I realized that the person I loved more than life itself had disappeared. Now before all of you start thinking that this is a whiney blog about the man I love… hahahahaha… IT’S not. It’s been a really long time since this has passed. And well peeps, what happened is what happens with all things over time – it gets corroded. When me and the ex BF broke up. I hated his guts… he had driven me to insanity… But like I said those feelings were corroded. And I now feel nothing for him, apart from the odd, OMG, I remember that day… Kinda moment. We lost touch, mainly because we had nothing to say to one another.

And I bare him no ill will. As a matter of fact I want him to be as happy as I am sometimes… The reason for this blog is as follows. I dreamt that he died. And in my dream I was very sad which I suppose is only natural. So I woke up in a panic and decided to check if he was ok… I could have left it and waited for a phone call from his mother if he had in actual fact died. But hey, I was worried – I am human after all… so I sent him a simple text message. Saying Hi, thought about you, are you doing ok? And that was it…

Nothing threatening, nothing overly excited – I was genuinely just checking if he was ok… That’s all… And I was raised with a certain degree of decency whereas when someone displays a concern for you, you respond either with I’m fine thank you, or no I’m dead. But no, nothing… So it is safe to say that I think it’s rude… Perhaps time hasn’t corroded away any of the hate feelings that he has for me… or perhaps he is just being a brat… I suppose the fact that I have moved on and can now appreciate our relationship for what it was (and take note WAS) is somewhat quick. And in assuming that he has moved forward into a mutual respect zone is assuming too much. I just suppose that I expected more as I do with everyone.

I tend to think that people are generally good. And that they don’t mean to hurt or upset people, because I don’t mean to hurt or upset people. And when I do, I feel really bad about it.

And that is where the misconception and lifelong lesson lies… People aren’t generally good, and well sometimes they just hurt and/or upset you on principle.